How is it that a man
can sit in a room surrounded by people and still feel alone? Some men prefer it this way. They are at ease until someone should happen
to say something to them, at which point, the man feels suddenly shaken, even
violated in some way. The offence is
worse if the person should speak directly to him. It is not so bad if the other should sit down
beside him and, gazing out into the crowd without looking at the man, say
something requiring no more than a grunt or a “hmm”. At this point the two can remain silent and
feel no awkwardness. It is only when one
becomes aware of the other’s presence that discomfort should follow. When one has the expectation that two people
sitting next to one another should speak to each other then any silence is
hardly tolerated. One can often observe
one of these people in action, trying to stimulate conversation, saying the
most ridiculous things to prompt the other to speak. “This is certainly a nice evening isn’t
it?” Or even more ridiculous: “I hear
it’s supposed to get colder.” The silent
man, at this point, may do one of three things.
1) He will answer with a nod of the head or raise his eyebrows but for
the rest of the evening bear a grudge against the one who violated his peace
with such foolish statements; 2) He will simply move to another location where
he can dip some shrimp in seafood sauce, or quietly stack a piece of cheese,
some assorted meat, on top of a cheese or perhaps herb flavoured cracker; or 3)
He will lash out at the offender with a verbal assault. He may do all three. Slowly he will nod his head, his neck and
face beginning to flush with fury, his eyebrows will rise and his eyes bulge
until suddenly he bursts out with “For God’s sake is that the most intelligent
thing you can say?!” Or perhaps, “Who
really cares about the weather, it will be what it will be, and the evening is
like any other!” Afterwards he’ll make
his way to the table with assorted cold cuts, cheese and crackers, and if he’s
lucky the shrimp, where he’ll prepare a tasty tidbit which will distract him
from the embarrassment of his outburst.
It is embarrassing in the end, though also gratifying. It is embarrassing because he was forced to
break his own silence, to violate his own spherical vacuum of silence surrounding
his body. He’ll realize he had a choice,
that he could have remained silent, adhered to point 1) or simply moved
straight to point 2) without calling any attention to himself. But it was also gratifying, he’ll decide, as
he eats his cracker and cheese. He may
even smile to himself. The look on the
other person’s face was priceless.
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