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AN INTERROGATION OF THE "REAL" IN ALL ITS GUISES



Hamm: What's happening?
Clov: Something is taking its course.
Beckett




Tuesday, 15 July 2014

My Friend the Ant

One morning while I was having a shower I noticed a large ant appear out of the top of the shower door frame. At first I was startled to see such a large bug in such close proximity to my naked body. Having gotten over my initial reaction I decided to observe the ant to see what it would do. I watched as it moved along the shower ridge, pausing at drops of water to dip it's head and do what I can only describe as having a drink, before heading on to the next drop. Indeed, each time it paused and dipped its head, the water droplet grew smaller. He was certainly drinking or collecting this water. I suddenly felt sorry for the ant, living in the frame of my shower door, coming out in the face of danger to have a drink. I watched as it clung to the top of the ridge with the legs on one side of its body while hanging down to reach drops that were farther away. How dangerous this maneuver was! If the ant slipped it would mean certain death in the bottom of the hot and soapy shower. I gently raised my finger and deposited a number of small water drops along the top of the stall. This way the ant might avoid the risk of falling. For the ant's part it seemed not to notice or at least acknowledge this act of charity but did drink from my drops thereafter. After completing my shower I watched the ant scurry quickly into hiding as if it knew it should clear the premises once the human wasn't busy washing itself.

Over the next few days I would see the ant almost every time I had a shower. Each time I would deposit the water drops safely along the ridge and the ant would drink until my bathing was complete. If the ant didn't make an appearance I would feel as if I had missed a friend. Then tonight as I was finishing up my evening routine I noticed something in the bottom of the shower stall. The colour and approximate size were right, but I avoided looking more closely. Then as I prepared to turn off the bathroom light, I saw that it was indeed the lifeless body of my friend the ant. Had it slipped and fell into that steaming torrent? Had it been knocked there by a towel carelessly thrown over the shower wall? A feeling of sadness washed over me. We two lifeforms, so different in size and appearance, even in the way we experienced the world, were nevertheless united in some inexpressible way.

Its passing is noticed, its absence felt. My friend the ant.

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