The Way

The Unbearable Weight

Later than you think -Part II-

 

Green wall fecundity

Breathe you into my nostrils

Writhing mass of sand grain-covered worms

Along such paths men haunt

Traces, mud swirls in puddles

Thick description- abstraction

Not here the babbling of neuron excretion

In my right vest pocket I could feel a kleenex and an old receipt.  In my left was a rubberband and a pocket knife.  My hands rested comfortably there on old familiar objects and the day was cool.  The air smelled fresh after a night of rain.  Three weeks had passed since Lynn left.  In that time I had to leave my apartment because I was short on rent, but I was still working down at the grocery store.  When she left I lost half the rent income.  I ended up pitching a tent just off the bike trail and slept there.  It wasn't so bad.  Oh and I also found out that Lynn was pregnant, but not, as I first thought, with my baby (I'm still close with one of her friends who works at the store with me).  Turns out Lynn was a couple months pregnant when she broke up with me.  I guess they'd been sleeping together for a while before that.  I wasn't sure if I should feel relieved or not the baby wasn't mine.  The ache I felt in my chest when I thought about it could mean almost anything.

The trail stretched off into the distance ahead of me.  My tent was another half-kilometer away.  At least there I could get away from all the craziness that surrounded me lately.  As I came closer I noticed two things at once.  First, I began to make out some of my things laying on the path.  Second, I heard the zipper of my tent open or close, I wasn't sure which.  Immediately adrenaline started pumping through my arteries.  Fight or flight.  What the hell: fight.

Later than you think -Part I-

Vidi nihil permanere sub sole.

From inside I could hear the car door close and the engine come to life.  I sat down in the old canvas-covered chair my neighbour had given me, just in time to hear her drive off with her new boyfriend into the distance.  The place suddenly seemed pretty quiet.  Looking back on things I doubt I would have done anything differently.  That being said, I'll sure miss her.

The clock said 7:30 pm.  What the hell was I going to do now?  I grabbed my vest and went outside.  Down the street I heard Larry yelling at his wife again.  Not a very happy guy that Larry, but if you think he's miserable you should see his wife.  Almost everyday she walks her dog past my place.  She's overweight, never smiles, and just kind of plops along with some very flattened-out flip-flops that can't be giving her much support.  She has one of those little foo-foo dogs that look like stained mop heads.  I'm sure the mop has a great personality, but it looks as dumb as a brick.  Anyway I feel sorry for her.  Nobody deserves the crap she takes from her husband.  I mean what the hell is his problem? 

I turn the opposite direction and start walking.  My mind is numb and I'm thinking about Lynn.  Where did she even meet this guy?  My girlfriend was way more social than me, but when did she have time to get this far into a relationship?  At least he waited in the car while she grabbed her stuff.  How awkward would that have been if he came in to "protect her" or something?  She obviously knew me well enough to leave the meathead in the car. 

I wasn't paying attention to the road and almost stepped on some roadkill.  My street doesn't have sidewalks so every now and then you might come across a flattened out animal of one kind or another.  Know how you feel little buddy.  Ok maybe not exactly.. I mean the poor bastard is flatter than a pancake.  God I need help.