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AN INTERROGATION OF THE "REAL" IN ALL ITS GUISES



Hamm: What's happening?
Clov: Something is taking its course.
Beckett




Tuesday, 28 June 2022

a night of revelry

a night of revelry 
laughter, flashing eyes
clinking glass
fire in our bellies
then fade the setting summer sun
fade the waking eye to
dream upon a dream

hello dawn with 
sandy throat
encrusted bloodshot eye
footstep like a 
pebble in a shoe
"the morning after" 
heavy as a leather jacket

tonight's new party
a farewell to friends
pour the blood-red wine
bringer of jollity and
open doors
the never-ending
celebration of life
before the passage of
another day





Sunday, 12 June 2022

we must go on







we must go on
through loss of present things
carried by the wake of
absence
my god has it been a year
since your smiling face
vanished from the earth?
has the sky seen such
vaulting joy?
in my mind's eye
your face floats before my own
pale but smiling
gazing with
Buddha serenity
but i cannot mirror this
tranquility
not yet
and i fear dear cousin
not ever






Tuesday, 7 June 2022

paradox

"it's all a distraction"
she said, 
"to forget your mortality" 
"hm hm," i nodded, "go on" 
"the shows, the video games, 
and from the beginning of time, 
sporting events,
to distract us from 
the main event" 
"our own death, you mean?"
(i was getting into it) 
"yes yes, and we all 
fell for it" her eyes were 
on fire
or was it the candle light 
reflected in them 
"so we reach the end of life" 
she continued
"without ever really living" 
i sat up, "wait, you mean 
without ever thinking about 
our own death" 
she broke out in that ridiculously
beautiful smile she has 
"can't you see? you can 
never really live until 
you've seen your death" 
"seen it?" 
"yup, face to face, 
felt its cold breath 
against your skin" 
i scratched my head
"seems traumatizing" i muttered 
"yes absolutely, but then 
life can become totally life
it's a paradox.."
her voice trailed away 
the fire in her eyes faded 
i think a part of me 
experienced a death just then. 
later as i drove home 
it started to rain 
i turned the radio off so
I could hear the raindrops 
patter against my car 
"it's a paradox.. " i murmured 
a paradox 
 


Friday, 3 June 2022

so long since wind

so long since wind
along the rocky shore 
blew tossing wave and
goddess hair against
this wandering body 
today in shimmering 
vision i caught a glimpse of
old things 
still green in memory's 
golden eye 
there across the chasmed
darkness: vision flew. 
a passerby 
consumed by present things 
stumbled by the path 
"turn your face" i yelled 
but on they plodded
undisturbed in 
electromagnet sphere 
and i, i watched the phantom 
fade away 
how old i must be 
to view this with 
incredulity 

 


Monday, 30 May 2022

motorcycle narcissus

how desperately she looked
at me 
consumed by her feelings 
but I wasn't there
I forgot to be present 
why? 
my damned motorcycle
wouldn't start
I turned it over and over 
in my stupid mind
carburetor, regulator,
vaccuum leak? 
"yes" I nodded to 
a question she asked
but I didn't hear 
"yes, hmm, yes"
her hands were reaching out 
I took them
ashamed of my thoughts 
"my husband wants a divorce" 
"yes that's going around" I said 
"what?" 
"oh nothing," I purred
it's always this with her 
the ever impending 
d-i-v-o-r-c-e
she'll talk about him
for the next hour 
we used to be more than 
these conversations 
we were something 
magical
I look into her eyes 
to find the old truth 
I'll see her soul I gaze 
so deep 
but her eyes are mirrors
I see myself
I see my spark plugs 
I can't look away 
damn-it I'll need to 
take the carburetor off 

Monday, 23 May 2022

this is your going

this is your going
away 
without a consummation 
with an eye on jesus
away
from hot blood and 
nature's force 
with a whimper 
green wood to dust 
driven by the lunatic 
dream of money 
but we will both 
grow old regardless 
time chiseled on our 
twin faces
i cannot betray the 
original impulse 
(no matter how far 
the steel-cold distance) 
given like a falling star 
cradled as an ember 
in these hands 
that knew you 



Thursday, 12 May 2022

i still see her

i still see her wind blown hair

there beside the sunny water

before the world was hustle bustle

there was green grass and 

golden summer halos 

around our tossing heads

she said, "what if life is all a circle?"

which made me smile

because here i was

but what could i say

that life's a mystery?

she licked her lips and

suddenly i didn't care

if life's a circle or a square

what mattered was

she was there

with sky in her perfect eyes

when she looked at me



Thursday, 5 May 2022

on the last day of forever

on the last day of forever
the dark trees shuffle 
against a purple evening sky, 
"soon you'll die
soon you'll die" 
the needled forest 
sang in chorus 
"soon you'll die" 
and i was snug inside 
my rain-pattered car 
far from a hard-shelled road 
as mist filled the silent space 
outside my window 
I dreamed of her 
so far away
on the last day of forever




Wednesday, 27 April 2022

slip away

slip away
between the crashing green
where mountains rise
today's eye unseeing
dull from screens and 
expectation
to meet in truth
naked before each day
before the other
to gaze at stars and 
heavenly bodies
wonder-filled and 
possibility heavy
walk beneath a
canopied sky of
stars and glowing flesh
creating worlds like
ancient gods
birthing with
eternal passion
fashioning limbs
and breasts
with loving clay
i will not say 
their name
before i breathe
upon their lips








Sunday, 24 April 2022

how long

how long
will you be away
without a thought 
slipped between the 
thinnest sheets of paper 
a treasure for my
rainy day 
you said you'd be back
but not like this
a whisper on a 
Sunday night
it's spring again 
with only
an idea of you 



Friday, 15 April 2022

do not fall in love

do not fall in love
with a child of the past
nor sell your heart to
a memory 
can you see? 
will you live? 
the great rushing 
future 
belongs to you! 
can time be a friend 
or must vision
shimmer like a vapour
silent, faded 
withered up and dry, 
cracked like a forgotten 
boy's bones
alone and empty 
among the old 
men's tombs 
on which the sun 
casts a shadow




Monday, 28 March 2022

if i could fall

Original artist: Pragmatica

if i could fall
into the deepest pools
of darkest night
scattered by the
sacred lights
to see them cross your 
haunting face
would i not race to 
water's edge
and fall forever
with you
through the gazing tunnel
to shining 
diamond-covered trees
where sacred birds
and beings dwell
i will not tell
our many-whispered secrets
or pluck the Raven's feather
by the midnight water
oh child of earth and sky


Sunday, 20 February 2022

when the moment

when the moment
lives beyond itself 
we vibrate at the
frequency of eternity
infinite in presence, 
essence, spirit 
one with each other's 
shining faces 
such graces only 
angels know 
who glow in 
heaven's light 
and we share that 
when the moment 
lives beyond itself 
when we pause and see
the other's beauty 
written in the 
rising time and 
read within two hearts
the focal point of
everything


Tuesday, 8 February 2022

we swam in stars

we swam in stars
along the rocky shore
and looking saw
so much more
than galaxies in
an endless sky
in our eyes
we saw possibility

remember breathless
night beneath the canopy
beneath a warm embrace
our hearts raced to
be one
we fell forever
into memory


Sunday, 6 February 2022

finitude

finitude
smash against ego
breakwall
obscure horizon
dawn
glowing sun